ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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