Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
