So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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