why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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