a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
