we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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