A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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