You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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