And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
