Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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