I murdered the dance floor call the cops
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
