dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
