One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
