I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
