two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
