One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
