Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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