There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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