WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
