i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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