She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
