The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize