I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
