i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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