the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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