the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
