Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
