just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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