so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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