these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
