How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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