let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize