Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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