We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
