We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
