I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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