Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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