my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
