Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
