"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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