NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
