and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize