A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
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