who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
we're so committed to being not committed
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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