tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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