i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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