I just pynch a tree in the face
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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