I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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