I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
