Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
