You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
