You really coming over, don't trick.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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