my vag is so smooth its legendary
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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