so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
