you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
