Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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