To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
