its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
