I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
