No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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