and you said cock pushups were impossible
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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