FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
