So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
