my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
