You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
